Silent retreat on the shore with Ma Radha

I am back from my second 3-day silent retreat, and all that was experienced is still processing.

This year's coordinators & teachers,
Barbara, Ma Radha, Subhadra & Mariella.

First off, you should know that because this year's retreat was being lead by the lovely, Ma Radha, a student of Swami Veda Bharati since 1971 and disciple of Swami Rama of the Himalayas, I constantly had Jai Uttal's Jaya Radha going on in my head.  I'm not complaining because I love that bhajan!  But seriously, it was in my head almost the whole time (besides while I was meditating and focused on a mantra).  It's only appropriate that you should listen to it while you read this, click here to play, and read on.

It's amazing how much contemplation
gazing out at this enormous abyss brings!

Once I checked back into the Stella Maris Retreat Center by the sea for the second time, I realized how influential my first experience with silence has been on my everyday life.  The silence that I had cultivated during my first retreat last spring gave me the awareness so that I can tap into that silence whenever I need to, so it was easy to sink back into it.

To sum it up, my days were spent mostly looking out at the ocean with a cup of hot lemon water as you can see from the photo to the right.  That, along with lots of meditation, slow meals, asana class, spiritual lectures, oodles of naps and lots of contemplative time.  The soundtrack to my time there was the constant waves crashing at the shore wall and the occasional bird chirp.  The weather was blue skies, a warm sun, fluffy clouds and a cool breeze by the sea.  Nature surrounded us with lush, green grass, fragrant honey suckle bushes, seagulls cawing above us, rabbits that hopped on by in between chewing on the pretty flowers that decorated the center, porpoise's frolicking through the current (when we were lucky!) and birds that would dance with each other in swirls along the grass.  We had one day of light rain followed by a double rainbow that resided right over the water.  I had never seen both sides of any rainbow before until this one.  Slowing down and being able to take in all of the beauty was so blissful in and of itself.  A perfect way to practice living in the moment.

After a brief afternoon shower,
colors of light casted themselves over the sea.

One full day (12 hours), we practiced Akhanda Japa of the Gayatri mantra.  Akhanda Japa (uninterrupted group meditation) is an ancient practice in the Himalayan tradition for creating a spiritually empowered collective consciousness. It engenders individual healing and transformation while exerting a strong positive influence on the entire web of life.  This practice was mesmerizing!  Gayatri Mantra (the Mother of the Vedas), the foremost mantra in hinduism and hindu beliefs, inspires wisdom. Its meaning is roughly translated by Swami Veda as "Om.  In Earth, Sky and Heaven, I do meditate on, and sustain in myself, the beautiful brilliance of God who shines in the splendor of the sun." The practice of this mantra calms mental noise, washes off karmic impurities, purifies the ego, sharpens the intellect and illuminates the inner being with the light which flows directly from the Source.  The process of purification through this practice begins in the deep unconscious and gradually pervades all aspects of our personality.  We become new and fully transformed, from inside out.  The Gayatri Mantra:

Om Bhur Bhuvah Svah

Tat savitur varenyam

Bhargo devasya dhimahi

Dhiyo yo nah prachodayat

Although I'm familiar with the Gayatri Mantra, this practice allowed me to experience it in a whole new light.  Once I'd get into the groove of repeating it, it came with no effort allowing me to sink deeper into my meditation.  Then sometimes I'd find myself tripping over words, forgetting certain parts and having to pause and start over.  When I'd take breaks from the practice throughout the day, the mantra would continue to play in my mind.  It was so beautiful.  I napped that afternoon falling asleep to the vibrations of the mantra and awoke to the same blissful sounds.  It was amazingly powerful!

Gentle waves just rollin' on by as the sun sets.

During the many hours of contemplation, I found the waves of the sea to be very similar to that of my thoughts.  At many times of the day the waves were slow and calm.  They gently just rolled onto shore with no crash.  During the early morning, the sun's light would shimmer onto the tiny ripples in the water creating a sea of sparkly glitter.  Such a treat to my eyes!  My thoughts - calm, serene, and infrequent.  Then at other times of the day the sea was rough.  The waves were angry and those small ripples became huge and choppy.  Every wave would crash abruptly at the shore wall creating a loud smack followed by an explosion of water shooting up into the air then raining down onto the ground.  Those forceful waves could be felt wherever you were on the premises - vibrating the ground and giving the building a little shake.  My thoughts - powerfully loud, negative, and judgmental.

There will always be that balance of calm and chaos within our minds and the world, it's just life.  In the meantime, I look forward to dwelling more in a meditative state, keeping my thoughts soft and quiet (like the gentle waves) as often as I can.  I look forward to deepening my silent practice throughout my daily life.

As Swami Veda says, "Walk in Light and Love and carry your Silence with you."

Take a Full Moon Bath

Each month, I practice a full moon meditation on the night of the full moon through my lineage of yoga. (See sample meditation here). Luckily, during the warmer months, I can enjoy these meditations on the Jersey shore just minutes from my apartment, facing the sea with the bright light of the moon reflecting beautifully over the water and onto my skin.

The full moon is a powerful time each month. The day of, before and after the full moon is a time to attract love, abundance, creativity and positive energy. Just as the sun has it's healing energy, so does the moon. Moonbathing is just as important as sun bathing. The benefits derived from moonbathing are equally important, however, there is not a single defect in a moonbath to my knowledge (as there is with having too much sun). Moonlight is reflected light of the sunlight absorbed by the moon and showered onto Earth. This cooling light should be bathed in from 8:00pm till the wee hours as you please, retiring right to bed after.

I encourage you to step outside and bathe under the full moon's healing light even if only for a few minutes. Breathe deep, reflect, and allow yourself to soak up the magic.

"May the Guru spirit and the Guru's Grace shine for you, within you, like the cool mind-settling light of the full moon." -Swami Veda Bharati

Surrendering to the Wave of Silence

I've just returned from my first silent retreat. This was a 3-day retreat on the Jersey shore at the lovely beach sanctuary, Stella Maris Retreat Center. Our group was guided by Dr. Stephen Parker, an initiate of the Himalayan Tradition (the lineage of my yoga), who was simply amazing. It was me, my yoga mat, my journal, a few books, my sketchbook, a bar of dark chocolate with cherries and a meditation shawl. No computer, emails, cell phone, iPod or any other distracting device. It was to say the least, an experience of pure bliss.

These past months leading up to this retreat, I've had a very different idea of how my 3 days of silence would go. Surprisingly, it went the complete opposite. I had imagined it to be a time of reflection where my inner darkness would prevail without the ability to express myself through speech, leaving me in this 3-day saddened state of tears and some kind of an overall breakdown. To be honest, I had that the weekend before at my weekend trip to Kripalu for Tara Stile's workshop! I stayed with a girlfriend of mine in Massachusetts and we did nothing but engage in long emotional talks where we'd cry our eyes out, console one another with whatever wisdom we could, then go and practice yoga in between, HA! This went on the whole weekend for us. However, this silent experience was much different.

By silencing, I was able to clear my mind by listening to nature surrounding me. I could hear my thoughts and therefore was able to analyze them appropriately with my heart as my guide. A smile graced my face almost every moment of my silence. I finally got to the point where when a question in my mind would come up, my inner dialogue would compassionately answer it. All I heard for the full 3 days were the waves crashing on the shore, lovely birds singing their Spring song and the occasional seagull squawking above to remind me that we were on the beach.

What I noticed during my silence:

Loud to soft thoughts.

Hours into my silence, I noticed how LOUD my thoughts were. My mind was racing so fast, continuously and was extra obnoxious. But as time went on and I got deeper into my silence, my thoughts calmed. My inner dialogue spoke in a soft, slow voice. Thoughts were soothing, gentle and I was able to think much more clearly.

Radio 24/7.

There is a constant radio station playing in my head. There is always a song being played in the back of my mind all day, throughout everything, even as I sleep! The songs change ev

ery few hours and are accompanied by a loud and obnoxious radio station host (my mind!) talking over the music. I actually have to imagine pressing a STOP button in my mind to turn off the station!

Slow down, become mindful.

Silence allowed me to slow down, especially during mealtime. Slowing down during meals and not speaking with others allows you to be present with your food and eat mindfully. Every meal I had I kept saying to myself how it was the BEST I've ever had, but in actuality I was just tasting and enjoying the food in front of me! I ate much less and walked away satisfied.

Meditation fills you up.

Meditating creates inner peace, allowing love and appreciation for your life, body and world around you that you can't help but become enveloped with peace. I sometimes tend to overeat, to fill something up inside me that food will never be able to satisfy. Or sometimes I'll talk badly about something or someone to make myself feel better in that brief moment, but then feel awful afterwards leaving me feeling more empty than full. The fullness that a meditation practice brings fills you up, allowing you to no longer desire to overeat, or act out of poor behavior.

Inner peace is there, always.

The core of our being is peace. We all have silence within us, it's just a matter of tapping into that stillness and knowing how to access it during times of need. A consistent meditation practice will allow you to become aware of this peace, a silent retreat such as what I just went on, or it can be as simple as deepening your breath for a few moments each day to connect with your true nature.

The few words I uttered by accident during my silence:

"Namaste." - at the end of one of the yoga

classes...habit!

"Thank you." - only whispered once, another habit!

"Is there dairy in this?" - of course I uttered this. I should have just made a sign of all my dietary needs for the chef to answer at each meal!

"Mmmm" - about 9 times with each bite of a chocolate chip zucchini walnut bread that I allowed myself to have after dinner one night. It was divine!

"Achoo!" - the sea breeze was whisking around dandelion seeds each day, what can I say.

My first thought when I woke up at 5am this morning was of a vivid wave slowly crashing. I observed each and every detail of that wave and heard each splash it made. With my eyes still closed from sleep, I smiled and knew in that moment, I had surrendered to the wave of silence.